Thursday 18 August 2016

Football crazy part 2

The sight of grown men with the minds of new born babies kicking a ball around some grass for a bit is without doubt the best way to spend a Saturday for some people. Yes, the football season is well underway in England. It's seems an age that last season ended but, in reality it was only 3 weeks ago. Fans just don't seem to be able to get enough of multi millionaires sauntering round the pitch lazily before they roll around on the floor frantically trying gain the attention of match officials. Thats not all there is to football though, let's not forget the aggressive goal celebrations such as punching a corner flag or shouting "come on" with clenched fists and fight ready posture. For the less aggressive there's always the ritual of sliding on the knees like a bored child on a wedding reception dance floor.

The great news is that the powers that be have decided to extend the football season so that we can see more of this childish, ubiquitous, game.

Brian McTaxexile, the man who is in charge of football has said. "We are pleased to announce an extension to the football season in England. We plan to gradually add more games to the calendar as people just don't seem to be able to enough of overpaid idiots pretending to give 110% for the clubs they love, until such time they leave to join another club where they can earn more cash to spend on diamond earrings". McTaxexile went on to say. "By the time the full changes are implemented the new season will have started before the current one has finished, this means that as a fan you won't have to go one second without football in your lives or on your tv screens."

This is also good news for players, fans, pundits and agents alike so we got the views of a selection of these people which you can see below.

Premier league star Terry Johnson said. "I'm not sure what to make of all this. Does it mean I have to play more? I'm not sure I like the sound of that. Oh well, I can just refuse to play or get my agent to get me in at a different club where I'll receive more money. I'll just have to kick on and see what happens but this could mess up my chances of retiring at 23."

Johnsons agent Ernie Moneybags said. "This is great for me, it will mean more players in the game and more transfers. I reckon I'll be able to make an extra few million a year just sat on my backside smoking cigars and picking the phone up. Winner!"

Pundit and ex England international Clive Mediocre was also excited. "I can't wait for this, I love spending a Saturday sat round a table with my mates discussing who isn't playing that day for two grand a time." Mediocre cheekily added. "I'll still have one eye on the GG's though, even when I'm working, I like to see where my two grand has gone!"

Dedicated fan Tommy Skint said. "In principle this is great news but it's going to hit me in the pocket. I'll find the money from somewhere though, I'd die for my beloved Rovers! That club is everything to me. I proposed to my girlfriend the day we signed Terry Johnson and our little boy is named after the whole of the team that lost in the fifth round of the FA cup in the 79-80 season."

So it seems that with these plans in place you'll never have to spend a weekend without getting disappointed that your club lost 3-0 and needs a new striker. In the words or 80's popster Limahl out of Kajagoogoo (he was the singer, not the one with the massive teeth) football is indeed "A never ending story".

Wednesday 22 June 2016

EU referendum. The truth about potatoes.

There's a sign in the Five Guys burger restaurant in my local shopping centre. It gives the location the potatoes used to make the fries came from. I've seen the sign many times, the spuds come from Holland. I have no problem with the Dutch or their potatoes for that matter but this got me thinking. Is there a similar establishment in Holland using British potatoes? If there isn't then we are importing more than we are exporting. This is not right. If there is this means that we, as the consumer aren't getting a fair deal. There would be an extra cost in getting the spuds from Holland onto your plate here & vice versa because someone has to bring them a much greater distance & use more fuel to get them here. This is happening due to the EU encouraging trade between countries but in reality it means this:

Being in the EU means we pay more for our potatoes & they aren't as fresh when you get them as the ones that are grown locally. 

Think about it. I'm making a point about potatoes but the same point can be applied to other goods traded between all EU countries. If you could only get potatoes from Holland I wouldn't have an issue with this but as we all know we can grow potatoes pretty much anywhere, so it makes no sense for any country to export them. Unless someone, somewhere is making a ton of money out of us the consumer in export & delivery costs? Maybe that's why Five Guys charge the astronomical prices they do for their fries.

Maybe nobody knows exactly what will happen should the UK vote leave but I can promise you this. If you vote leave your potatoes will be cheaper & fresher. The EU is a con & my point here proves it. Someone, somewhere is coining it in & then trying to fool us into thinking we are getting a good deal. The ones getting a good deal are businesses not consumers. Not just consumers in the UK but consumers in all countries of the EU because it seems we are all paying too much for our goods. The whole of Europe is being conned by the decision makers, big businesses & politicians who tell us we are financially better off when we aren't. These people are overcharging us all for goods then lying to us afterwards. These people tell us we are better off in the EU when what they really mean is I am better off in the EU. If I'm right leaving the EU will make us better off when we get to the supermarket checkout. 

What are you going to do about that?

P.S who do you trust, me or the prime minister?