Operation "Blunderbuss" Part 3

Chapter 3 - Crazy Train - "All aboard"

After a wild first night i slept in all morning and most of the afternoon. I had arranged to meet Rich and Andy in my hotel at 4pm so i hustled Op out at about 3.30 so i could get ready for round 2. Unfortunately due to a drunken misunderstanding they didn't arrive until 5.30, with both of them asking where was i when they all met at 4. I felt compelled to defend myself and reminded Rich of our conversation in the wee hours.

Rich - "Ok, we'll meet you in the Beer Garden at 4. Do you know where that is?

Me - "No."

Rich - "Ok, meet at my hotel at 4, do you know where that is?"

Me - "No."

Rich - "Ok, we'll meet at your hotel at 4."

Me - "Brilliant, i know where that is."

Anyway after everyone conceding i was right we went for something to eat prior to meeting up with Chris and Neil later. We went to a german restaurant just up the road from my hotel and ate thai food there. I had chicken and cashew nuts (to make up for the ones Cowgirl had lifted from my mini bar last night) and of course chips! Andy suggested i also try Tom Yam Koong, which is a spicy soup with prawns and mushrooms lurking in the bottom of it, a strange brew but pretty tasty.

Following our meal we met up with Chris and Neil at the "Sports " bar at about 8. I was pleased that Chris and Neil had taken pity on my cashew nut theft and had purchased a pack for me to shut me up whining about it. Cheers lads! Anyway after a few beers we started on our journey to Patpong, another area of Bangkok with much to offer! We travelled by the Bangkok Skytrain (BST) which is basically a monorail that winds its way through the city about 15 metres above the crazy traffic below. The BST is a cheap and quick way to travel and it is also air-conditioned so it is also comfortable. Unfortunately for glasses wearers like myself the moment you step off the BST the humidity hits you right between the eyes and your glasses steam up immediately. Best wipe those clean or you'll miss the delights of Patpong.

We started off by going in a couple of bars and much the same as the previous night were the subject of attention from the Thai bar girls. I was sat at the bar having a beer whilst having a nice shoulder massage from a nice Thai lass, cool! The next bar was much the same but this place had some entertainment laid on. In the centre of the bar was a Thai boxing ring where a couple of fellas were goign toe to toe WWE style. it was clear that this was not a real fight as the combatants were hitting each other on the gloves but nevertheless they put on a decent show. At the end of the rounds there was usually a few late punches or someone being pushed over the ropes which all added to the entertainment. After a couple of fights the boxers came amongst the patrons of the bar to get some tips for their efforts, well done lads. All this whilst another Thai lass was rubbing my neck and shoulders while i downed a cool Singha beer, yes i was on holiday!

After this we slowed the pace down a touch and Andy and I went to "Muzzik" bar for a cocktail, I think Rich and Neil went to change some money whilst Chris went watch shopping! Personally i think he had bagged himself a ladyboy but i'll give him the benefit of the doubt i suppose! There was a decent live band on and they were playing rock and pop covers such as "Sultans of swing", "Howzat!" and "Big girls don't cry." A few drinks later and we were back out, we went to the "Kangaroo" bar where i met a nice lass called Ya, a pretty lady with a gorgeous smile. I think i was smiling too shortly after when we left the bar. I cant remember the name of the next place as were rushing about to get in there as it had started chucking it down outside. Anyway whilst in the bar we did the usual beer thing and i sat talking to Andy. After a couple of minutes i felt a tug on my testicles and looked down to see a wizened old lady of about 90 years stood in front of me. The testicle pull ploy was obviously to get my attention to the fact that she was selling cheap cigarettes and for some reason dead roses! No thanks luv! I pointed her in the direction of Chris and had to laugh when she approached him and tugged his sack in the same way she had mine, she must've liked Chris much more than me as she began licking her lips and sticking her tongue out at him. I think Chris became aroused at this point.

Anyway, Rich knew someone who worked in the bar and she took us to a pool hall to finish the night off. It was ok inside but it was located in a small block of flats and was off the beaten track, slightly worrying but no problems inside. Time was getting on and we all decided to call it a night at about 3 am. Rich was going back to Chiang Mai the next day and Chris and Neil were also heading back home the day after so it was time for goodbyes to friends old and new. I had really enjoyed the two days/nights with Rich, Chris and Neil and we had all got on enjoyed ourselves. Still it left me and Andy in Bangkok a little longer with plenty of time left to cause some carnage.