Operation "Blunderbuss" Part 7

Chapter 7 - Nobody does it better.

"I wasn't looking, but somehow you found me"

I woke up and said bye to Pi Pi in the morning. I pottered around for an hour or two before heading off into town for some lunch. I picked a restaurant and ordered duck with pineapple and of course chips! When my meal arrived i couldn't believe it, the duck was inside a carved out pineapple and was really nice but a bit too heavy for a midday meal, still i enjoyed it all the same and had an iced strawberry drink to cool off after the duck (and chips!). I left the restaurant and went back to the hotel to get my towel etc ready for an hour or two on the beach.

The beach was directly opposite my hotel and they're weren't many people on it, but then it was a fairly long beach. I found a quiet spot set my stuff down and went in the sea. I can't remember the last time i went in the sea it really was that long ago but it was brilliant. There were no rocks, stones, seaweed or any funny objects in there, i walked to about 40 metres out letting the breakers smash against my chest. Even this far out i was only just up to my shoulders and spent about an hour in there just enjoying floating around and relaxing in the sun. It was a beautiful day, quiet, peaceful and i was loving it, i didn't have a care in the world. I stayed on the beach for a little longer but then left as i didn't want to get sunburn, i had a caught some on my arms and feet on the boat trip yesterday and didn't want to add to this. I therefore decided that i would go for a "sunburn" massage at a place just around the corner from my hotel. The sunburn massage comprised of having cold wet towels placed all over my body and then some of gel rubbed in afterwards. It was of slight relief to me and for the money (250baht/£5) it was a good experience, other than the mouthy swedish lady in the next cubicle who wouldn't stop talking. After this i went back to the hotel and had a cocktail at the poolside bar prior to heading off to bed for a nap.

I got up in the late afternoon and went back to the Swedish restaurant i went to the night before to have another Schnitzel in red wine sauce. I then headed off into town to have my final beers at "bar with no name". It was fairly quiet in the bar that night but i managed so sink more than a few whilst watching a couple of games of footy. As the hours wore on 1,2 and 3 am passed so i thought i ought to consider going to bed. I said goodbye to Andy, and the lady behind the bar (Pai Lin) and began to make my way out, Pai Lin enquired as to why i had been eyeing her up for 3 days and not done anything about it, so i said fair enough Ill wait for you to finish to finish work and we can go on late date. Pai Lin was shocked that i liked her enough to wait another hour or so before she finished work so i sat myself down and some more Singha Beer. About an hour later we left for real and i said my goodbyes again. I had really enjoyed drinking in the "bar with no name" and began to wish i wasn't going back to Bangkok the next day. Anyway i had great time with Pai Lin, she was very intelligent and a decent, honest person, not to mention very attractive with the best smile i had seen in thailand. I had promised myself i wouldn't go over the top with anyone i met on holiday but i liked her so much i lowered my defences and let myself fall in love with her. I really wished i could have spent more time with her and got to know her better and who knows if i hadn't had a job and a mortgage to come back to i may still have been there with her now. I think i would have at least stayed until my money ran out and was cursing the fact i hadn't booked to stay in Karon Beach a day or two longer. But sadly it wasn't to be, i was up the next morning and Pai Lin said she wanted me to stay and be her boyfriend, but hey, i live in england, she lives in thailand, it's was not going to happen. Pai Lins words for our brief encounter were "Special, special, special", i would definitely agree with that. As sad as i was to leave Phuket and Pai Lin i had to go, i was surprised that only after a few days i had genuine feelings for someone, but it was a holiday romance, i packed my feelings up, put them on a shelf in the back of my mind for safe keeping and as the taxi drove away with heavy heart i waved goodbye.

Operation "Blunderbuss" Part 6

Chapter 6 - The man with the golden gun

"His eye may be on you or me, who will he bang?, we shall see oh yeah"

I was up & ready early doors after last nights pleasure/pain shenanigans. I waited outside my hotel & got worried when my lift hadn't arrived 15 minutes it was due. Taxis were coming & going & none of them had my name on their list but eventually it arrived & we got on our way. It took about 45 minutes to get to Ao Po harbour where our boat would be setting off from & upon arrival there were loads of tourists knocking about all ready for their own taste of the James Bond island tour. About 3 seconds after getting out of our people carrier a young thai lad approached me placed a sticker on my chest & walked away, i gathered that the sticker was my pass to the tour & went and bought a couple of drinks from a nearby store. It was a red hot day & the sun hadn't really made an appearance yet so i stocked up on liquids. I also bought a bunch of bananas as i had heard that at some stage during the island tour a group of monkeys might make an appearance so i thought id get some fruit "ammunition" to keep them from nicking my personal items. I needn't have bothered we didn't see one monkey all day but no big deal there.

Anyway i made my way onto the boat & luckily there were only about 20 people on it so there was plenty of room to stretch out & enjoy the ride. We set off on our journey & after about 20 minutes our guide Leo gave us the low down on the plan of the days events. Leo was a good guide & quite a character, he & his crew looked after everyone all day, nothing was too much trouble for them. We sailed past island after island & as we went the sun shone more & more & it became a beautiful day. After about an hour we stopped near to a large island & then Leo announced that it was time for us to get in the canoes! I looked down at the back of the boat and there about 10 inflatable canoes waiting for us to get in. Leo told me that i had was privileged to be in a "VIP" canoe but i read between the lines and sussed that because i was the tallest (and widest) person on the boat that i would be the only passenger in mine. I tentatively got in my canoe and sat in front of thai lad who valiantly paddled me away from the boat. We travelled to a nearby island about 40 metres away and it was time to disembark adjacent to some rocks, no jettys or quays here! Well, what a performance getting out of the canoe, i nearly fell in the sea & managed to tread on the hand of my guide as i got out, sorry mate! Anyway, i had made it to dry land & my guide showed a short caved area that led into a small lagoon inside the island. It was beautiful, the water was slightly murky but there was a large rock in the middle of the lagoon which rose graciously upwards and as i looked up i saw that we were in a small circular area where the sun was shining directly into, it was like something from Jurassic park. There was a large tree about 40 metres above where i could see loads of reddy brown coloured bats just hanging in the morning sun, one or two of them were even flying around and with their wings spread they looked about 3 feet wide. We stayed there for a moment or two and then my guide led me through another short caved area before getting back in our canoe & continuing our journey. We paddled away from our boat around the edge of the island for about a half mile & then turned a corner & headed in a tunnel area where it was pitch black. As we progressed into the tunnel my guide passed a small (and very weak) flashlight & as i shone it i could stalagtites hanging down from the ceiling, at times i had to duck down to avoid them but that was all part of the fun, i could reach out & touch them. I then heard squeeking noises coming from the ceiling & as i aimed the flashlight upwards saw that there were hundreds of bats up there. We continued around a corner & i saw light approaching around the bend, i noticed that we were nearing the end of the tunnel & that as we left it there was a area where the sun could permeate that was different in colour to the rest of the tunnel. It was brilliant white & looked as though it was covered in ice but that was the effect of the suns rays on that particular area, absolutely amazing. We then made our way back to the boat & i got back on, i had enjoyed the ride but had had enough canoeing for one day.

When everyone was back on the boat the tour continued to another island where there loads of other tourists on their boats were congregating. I stayed on the boat & had a nap whilst the others had a swim or took had a paddle in the canoes. This took us to dinnertime & Leo & the crew had provided a nice lunch of rice, noodles, prawns, chicken & Tom Yam Koong. After that it was time for the highlight of the tour James Bond Island.

I am not sure what James Bond island is actually called, some call it Pi Pi & others Pang Na but thats not important, after all its James Bond island , Roger Moore island, after all he is the best Bond. As we neared the island I could see the famous rock which peeked out between the islands higher surroundings on either side. We were then treated to a "Short-tailed speedboat" ride to the island. A short-tailed speedboat is about 20 metres long an quite narrow, at its greatest breadth it could seat about 3 or 4 people, these boats might a right racket & the rudder & motor was nearly as long as the boat. We got out of the boat and i saw that the island was bustling, there were boats coming in and out every few minutes and a few hundred people on the island at any one time. There were numerous stalls on offer all of which sold various items such as seashells, gifts & other tat, i was surprised there was no Bond memorabilia at all, you know, golden gun fridge magnets etc but maybe there is some sort of copyright issue. Past the stalls i saw the famous rock sitting slap bang in the centre of the whole island, it was magnificent, if you haven't seen it (or the film the man with the golden gun) the rock stems from the sea & is about 1/2 as wide at the bottom as it is at the top. It is truly an amazing sight. There is a small beach area in front of it which very coarse, but that don't matter, Sir Roger has trodden on it & that's good enough for me. There is a stairway that leads around the island & part way it up it offers & even more majestic view of the rock. I took the chance for a photo opportunity & it was a good 'un, i was so pleased i had it put onto a large canvas when i got home & it now hangs in my living room. I spent about 1 hour there before the short-tailed speedboat ride back to the boat & then back to Ao Po harbour. A life-long dream fulfilled.

Back at Ao Po we disembarked, said our goodbyes & expressed our thanks to Leo & his crew &then returned to Karon Beach. I had a quick relax in the hotel & received a call from Rich Keyworth to check how i was doing, very nicely thanks Rich! After a quick nap i got changed & went out for the night. I went to Swedish restaurant near to my hotel & had a Schnitzel in red wine sauce, nice, i love Schnitzel me! After that i had a walk down Karon Beach & into the "Bar with no name." where i shared my days experience with Andy (the co-owner of the bar) the other customers & the girl behind behind the bar i noticed the previous day. I had several Singha beers there before a quick walk to another bar where i met Pi Pi who kindly showed me the way to my hotel, after all, i was little tired, it had been a big day.

Operation "Blunderbuss" Part 5

Chapter 5 - Slippery when wet

I got myself up that morning and checked out of the Furama and it was without doubt the best hotel i had ever stayed in, good staff, very clean and well maintained. I gave the concierge a tip when i left and then got my taxi transfer to Bangkok airport to catch my flight to Phuket. The flight was a short one, just over an hour and on arrival the weather was fine and clearly this place was more of a holiday resort than grey Bangkok. I got a taxi to my resort which was called Karon Beach and one of the quieter places in Phuket which suited me fine as i was staying there first and foremost to go to James Bond island and secondly for a bit of a rest from the madness of Bangkok. I arrived at my hotel the Baan Karonburi in the mid afternoon, the hotel was just over the road from the beach and it had a nice pool and poolside bar. The reception area and staff were good too and my room was also of high quality with a nice balcony, the only downside i had no sea view but that's only a very minor gripe. All in all Ryo had booked me in to a really nice hotel and i was chuffed to bits with it and what i had seen of Phuket so far.

I went out at about 5pm for a wander and the main street was only a 5 minute stroll down the road. It wasn't long before i found an english bar "The bar with no name" and settled down for a few Singhas and a few games of pool with the staff/customers (cheers, Nat, Noi, Keith and Shaggy). This was a great bar with loads of tv's and sport on constantly, the only downside was that there were street vendors who kept coming into the bar trying to sell bangles, trinkets and other assorted tat. I also noticed a very attractive lady who was working behind the bar and broke the ice with her by getting her to teach me how to say "one more bottle please". Then as i usually the case when you're on holiday you usually meet someone who lives about 5 minutes away from you and this was no exception when i had a couple of beers with a guy called Mike. Mike showed me a couple of bars and in the first we were besieged by female attention as we walked off the street. Within minutes i found myself playing connect 4 with a couple of bar girls, surreal, but they love it over there. Anyway we moved on and went to the "Gun" bar. Mike suggested i try a massage there as he had heard good things about it and a lady called Mina who worked there. I met Mina and she led me to a bathroom that was tiled top to bottom and wall to wall, there was a bath in the corner into which a frothy lather was prepared and a lilo on the floor which i lay face down on. Ill leave the rest to your imagination but needless to say i had probably the most relaxing pleasurable experience of my life on that lilo. Unfortunately this pleasure was short lived as after this i had a quick lay down on a large tiled surfae in the bathroom, probably about 4 feet wide, 6 feet long and 4 feet high. I went to turn over and you've guessed it, fell off onto the floor right on my hip, shortly after this i made my excuses and left with my head hung low, what a plonker! By this time Mike had gone, he must've got sick of waiting for me or maybe was having a masage of his own, either way he had paid the bar tab, cheers Mike.

Following this i returned to "Bar with no name" where i had a couple of beers with co-owner an ex-pat called Andy with who i shared my recent catastrophe. I made my way back to the hotel by way of tuk-tuk at about 11pm as i needed an early night. The tuk-tuk was not like the ones in Bangkok it was a Daihatsu Carry van with benches for seats in the back, the back had been enlarged slightly to enable passengers to sit in and the whole thing ended up looking a scaled down version of Scooby Doo's "Mystery Machine. Still it was a nice feeling being driven home in what was essentially a "Sooty van". The early return was necessary as in the morning i was going to fulfil another life long dream. I was going to visit James Bond island.