Part 1 - Middletown Dreams
"Dreams transport desires drive you when you're down, dreams transport the ones who need to get of town"
You know when sometimes you just need a break, get away from the job, people & life you have. Well i had been feeling a bit like that lately, so at late notice i booked a couple of days off work & booked a trip to the Scottish highlands, Isle of Skye here i come.
I needed a new cd player in the Falcon so purchased a Kenwood & got Big Paul to fit it for me. I borrowed a satnav from my brother & calculated the journey at over 9 hours, i planned to do a night drive with plenty of stops so estimated the journey would take at least 11 hours. Due to the prospective hours id spend behind the wheel i made a packed meal & got loads of cd's, the playlist for the trip would be, amongst others:
Rush
Marillion
Yes
Coheed and Cambria
Steve Vai
10cc
Foo Fighters
Dire Straits
I set off at 2300hrs, put my faith in the satnav & headed up the motorway taking a route which would pass Glasgow & then into the Highlands where i would take a ferry to Skye. Things were going well until i hit the outskirts of Glasgow then the satnav i had placed my faith in (i hate the f***ing things to be honest) started to develop a mind of its own. The satnav then diverted me straight across Scotland towards Perth but never having been north of Newcastle before stuck with it. I drove on for hours & the first shades of light began to permeate through the blanket of darkness on the Scottish sky. As the light grew i began to see how beautiful my surroundings were, which actually caused me a problem. I was so trasnfixed with the natural beauty that i had to keep pulling over & taking photos of the surroundings. One great place in particular was at Glenngarry, there is a parking spot & a viewpoint over a fantastic loch. I stood high above the loch i coudl see that it the way that the boundaries of it actually made resemble a map of Scotland, which i later found it is referred to.
Carrying on into the crisp morning i stopped a few more times, once just after Glenngarry where i realised i was actually above some low clouds, the sun was out & it was a fantastic view. As naughty satnav had f***ed up my route i ended up going a different way to Skye, over the Skye bridge which i was led to believe actually cost over £5 to cross each way. The Skye bridge is a massive structure that cover the gap between the Scottish mainland across to Skye, the distance is only short however & a boat crossing would probably only take a few minutes. Anyway after being on the road for over 10 hours i had finally hit Skye, bonus as well, there toll on the Skye has been abolished. Good job, i would be driving about 1,000 miles on this trip & the Falcons 2.7 litre V6 loves petrol!
I was staying in a place called Portree, which i think is the largest settlement on the island & home to about 2,000 people. I would be at my destination in about 30 miles, the sun was shining, it was a good day & i was pleased to be nearing the end of an epic drive.
Al Sithees' Big Generator . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Farewell my little star, we wish you well. What about love i hear you say, but this is the bottom line, its over, i dont love you anymore. We had 100 nights of fun and games but here, in my time of dying, in this house of broken love, lies a better man.
Saturday 11 September 2010
Wednesday 18 August 2010
Thanks
I havent updated the blog for some time, sorry for those have expressed an interest. I hope to post more soon.
I have noticed that i have many comments posted for which i thank you all but unfortunately many are in chinese/mandarin. I respectfully ask that if possible you could post comments in english as i dont understand what is being said. That way i may be able to reply to you and respond to your generous comments.
Thank you all,
Al SIthee.....
I have noticed that i have many comments posted for which i thank you all but unfortunately many are in chinese/mandarin. I respectfully ask that if possible you could post comments in english as i dont understand what is being said. That way i may be able to reply to you and respond to your generous comments.
Thank you all,
Al SIthee.....
Sunday 28 March 2010
Operation "Bamboozle" Part 5
Martian Landscape - "Martian Landscape, i'll learn to lie in your arms. Where all the freedom is mine and it comes."
We woke & had breakfast in the Cabin before our transport arrived to take us to the Blue Lagoon. This place was the main reason i had come to Iceland after hearing about it from Tim & Sean & seeing loads of pictures i couldn't wait to get there.
The Blue Lagoon is a massive geothermal outdoor pool right in the middle of nowhere in a kind of prehistoric-volcanic landscape. I was half expecting Doug McClure to meet us at the entrance but he couldn't make it because he died about 10 years ago. Seawater from 2000 metres below the surface of the earth is pumped up into the pool & kept at a hot temperature, the water is flushed & replaced every 40 hours We checked in, got changed & made our way outside. As we left the building it was freezing cold so we got straight into the white-blue milky water. It was very warm in there & instantly relaxing, i could feel some sandy type substance on the bottom, i reached down & pulled some of it up to the surface. I couldn't believe it, the sand was black with silver specks in it, there was no way that looking in the pool from the surface you could have guessed the sand was black. White-blue water, black sand, it's impossible.
We walked on through the pool & luckily it seemed a quiet day at the lagoon as there weren't many people around. Vlad the Impaler had criticised the lagoon saying was too touristy but plainly he was wrong & full of horseshit. This is what happens when you hang around with trowels, spades & hoes for too long.
Anyway the floor of the lagoon turned into mud so i put my hand down to see what that was like & pulled up some white-blue paste which as it turns out could also be found in wooden pots around the edge of the lagoon. It was an exfoliating substance which i am told can take 10 years off your appearance, i doubt that very much, but it was still nice to rub on my skin. As we went on the floor turned to rock in some parts & we found a nice spot to sit & relax. We got talking to a couple from Portland, US & mentioned we'd met a couple of guys from San Diego (Tim & Sean) who had been our drinking buddies for the last few days. This couple had met Tim & Sean a couple of days earlier in the Lagoon saying "they were trying to hook up with college girls" yep, sounds like Tim & Sean. Let it be known from this day forward that Tim & Sean are the "Blue Lagoon Legends".
As we relaxed there i took a look around the surrounding landscape, as i said earlier we in smack bang in the middle of an area of volcanic rock with nothing else for miles around. I surveyed the landscape & thought that at any moment Doug McClure might come running over one the mounds of rock with an old rifle in his hand closely followed by a T-Rex. This didn't happen, Mr McClure has been dead for around a decade & the dinosaurs a little bit longer than that, never mind, back to reality. I could not grasp how we were in the middle of such an area yet still living in the year 2010, it's impossible!
Whilst chatting to our Portland friends i noticed that my body under the water was hot but when i put my arm above my head it was freezing cold & my hair had frost on it! Imagine that, i was warm up to my shoulders but above my head was freezing cold. It's impossible. We then made our way toward a man made waterfall in a corner of the lagoon. I stood underneath it & spread my arms wide, the water was pulsating all over me, it was so powerful it felt as though i was being massaged by about 4 people all over my arms & shoulders. Absolutely brilliant, i had not a care in the world at this point.
After what seemed like an age in the pool TK suggested we get out & go for a sauna/steam room, so we did. We left the lagoon & went in the aforementioned steam room, which was like some sort of octagonal hut with wooden benches inside. I half-imagined that Doug McClure would come walking in at any moment covered in animal fur, with an old rifle in his hand & Caroline Munro on his arm saying we had to leave because the nearby volcano was "Gonna blow". Anyway that didn't happen Doug's been dead for some time & the volcanos in Iceland respectfully didn't erupt, although one did about a week after we got home.
After this we went for an ice lolly & glass of water before having another hour or so in the lagoon. As i returned there i floated on the surface for a good 10 minutes, during this time i relaxed totally, with my face poking out of the water & eyes closed drifted off into the closest thing to an "out of body experience" i have ever had. My limbs & body were so relaxed i felt as though i was spinning in space, i couldn't hear anything & felt nothing at all other than this sensation, absolutely brilliant. I didn't want to leave & neither did TK, we both loved it there. Anyway time got on, we eventually left & got changed ready for a meal in the lagoon's restaurant. I had a fantastic fish soup, followed by shrimp & langoustine pasta, gorgeous. TK had a Caesar salad & he said it was more salad than Caesar, i have no knowledge of such things & said to TK "What is this SALAD that you speak of". Shortly after we left the lagoon & i felt brilliant, the lagoon is a truly mesmerising place, a relaxing experience & everything i thought it would be. I would urge anyone, anywhere to go there, it is absolutely AWESOME.
We got our bus back to the Cabin before going for a night out at Bjarni Fel. We arrived there & watched a football match, whilst drinking beer & cocktails before "The Blue Lagoon Legends" joined us for more beers, shorts, etc. Oddny & Jenny also made an appearance to wish us well. We left Bjarni Fel at about 1.30 am & walked home with Tim & Sean. We said goodbye to our new friends (top lads, big shout to the San Diego massive) & went back to the Cabin.
Obviously we went home the next day & both TK & I loved our time in Iceland. It is one of the best places i've ever been & i hope to go back one day. I love Iceland, it is brilliant but with it's landscape, local customs, black sand, food, drinks & scientific impossibilities i'd say i was "Bamboozled" by this wonderful country.
Operation "Bamboozle" was a resounding success. Thanks to TK, Jenny, Oddny, Kristin, Tim & Sean for making my holiday fucking brilliant.
Love to you all.
We woke & had breakfast in the Cabin before our transport arrived to take us to the Blue Lagoon. This place was the main reason i had come to Iceland after hearing about it from Tim & Sean & seeing loads of pictures i couldn't wait to get there.
The Blue Lagoon is a massive geothermal outdoor pool right in the middle of nowhere in a kind of prehistoric-volcanic landscape. I was half expecting Doug McClure to meet us at the entrance but he couldn't make it because he died about 10 years ago. Seawater from 2000 metres below the surface of the earth is pumped up into the pool & kept at a hot temperature, the water is flushed & replaced every 40 hours We checked in, got changed & made our way outside. As we left the building it was freezing cold so we got straight into the white-blue milky water. It was very warm in there & instantly relaxing, i could feel some sandy type substance on the bottom, i reached down & pulled some of it up to the surface. I couldn't believe it, the sand was black with silver specks in it, there was no way that looking in the pool from the surface you could have guessed the sand was black. White-blue water, black sand, it's impossible.
We walked on through the pool & luckily it seemed a quiet day at the lagoon as there weren't many people around. Vlad the Impaler had criticised the lagoon saying was too touristy but plainly he was wrong & full of horseshit. This is what happens when you hang around with trowels, spades & hoes for too long.
Anyway the floor of the lagoon turned into mud so i put my hand down to see what that was like & pulled up some white-blue paste which as it turns out could also be found in wooden pots around the edge of the lagoon. It was an exfoliating substance which i am told can take 10 years off your appearance, i doubt that very much, but it was still nice to rub on my skin. As we went on the floor turned to rock in some parts & we found a nice spot to sit & relax. We got talking to a couple from Portland, US & mentioned we'd met a couple of guys from San Diego (Tim & Sean) who had been our drinking buddies for the last few days. This couple had met Tim & Sean a couple of days earlier in the Lagoon saying "they were trying to hook up with college girls" yep, sounds like Tim & Sean. Let it be known from this day forward that Tim & Sean are the "Blue Lagoon Legends".
As we relaxed there i took a look around the surrounding landscape, as i said earlier we in smack bang in the middle of an area of volcanic rock with nothing else for miles around. I surveyed the landscape & thought that at any moment Doug McClure might come running over one the mounds of rock with an old rifle in his hand closely followed by a T-Rex. This didn't happen, Mr McClure has been dead for around a decade & the dinosaurs a little bit longer than that, never mind, back to reality. I could not grasp how we were in the middle of such an area yet still living in the year 2010, it's impossible!
Whilst chatting to our Portland friends i noticed that my body under the water was hot but when i put my arm above my head it was freezing cold & my hair had frost on it! Imagine that, i was warm up to my shoulders but above my head was freezing cold. It's impossible. We then made our way toward a man made waterfall in a corner of the lagoon. I stood underneath it & spread my arms wide, the water was pulsating all over me, it was so powerful it felt as though i was being massaged by about 4 people all over my arms & shoulders. Absolutely brilliant, i had not a care in the world at this point.
After what seemed like an age in the pool TK suggested we get out & go for a sauna/steam room, so we did. We left the lagoon & went in the aforementioned steam room, which was like some sort of octagonal hut with wooden benches inside. I half-imagined that Doug McClure would come walking in at any moment covered in animal fur, with an old rifle in his hand & Caroline Munro on his arm saying we had to leave because the nearby volcano was "Gonna blow". Anyway that didn't happen Doug's been dead for some time & the volcanos in Iceland respectfully didn't erupt, although one did about a week after we got home.
After this we went for an ice lolly & glass of water before having another hour or so in the lagoon. As i returned there i floated on the surface for a good 10 minutes, during this time i relaxed totally, with my face poking out of the water & eyes closed drifted off into the closest thing to an "out of body experience" i have ever had. My limbs & body were so relaxed i felt as though i was spinning in space, i couldn't hear anything & felt nothing at all other than this sensation, absolutely brilliant. I didn't want to leave & neither did TK, we both loved it there. Anyway time got on, we eventually left & got changed ready for a meal in the lagoon's restaurant. I had a fantastic fish soup, followed by shrimp & langoustine pasta, gorgeous. TK had a Caesar salad & he said it was more salad than Caesar, i have no knowledge of such things & said to TK "What is this SALAD that you speak of". Shortly after we left the lagoon & i felt brilliant, the lagoon is a truly mesmerising place, a relaxing experience & everything i thought it would be. I would urge anyone, anywhere to go there, it is absolutely AWESOME.
We got our bus back to the Cabin before going for a night out at Bjarni Fel. We arrived there & watched a football match, whilst drinking beer & cocktails before "The Blue Lagoon Legends" joined us for more beers, shorts, etc. Oddny & Jenny also made an appearance to wish us well. We left Bjarni Fel at about 1.30 am & walked home with Tim & Sean. We said goodbye to our new friends (top lads, big shout to the San Diego massive) & went back to the Cabin.
Obviously we went home the next day & both TK & I loved our time in Iceland. It is one of the best places i've ever been & i hope to go back one day. I love Iceland, it is brilliant but with it's landscape, local customs, black sand, food, drinks & scientific impossibilities i'd say i was "Bamboozled" by this wonderful country.
Operation "Bamboozle" was a resounding success. Thanks to TK, Jenny, Oddny, Kristin, Tim & Sean for making my holiday fucking brilliant.
Love to you all.
Friday 26 March 2010
Operation "Bamboozle" Part 4
Beacon Hill - "What ever happened to the light on Beacon Hill, i know it's out there burning still."
Day 4 started in a lazy fashion, we had been having late drinking sessions for 3 days so this fact was starting to tell. We had a walk around Rejkyavik centre before stopping at Kaffe Solon for some dinner. This was a really nice place, cool decor & a fairly good menu. I opted for salmon (lax) for starters which was absolutely excellent followed by chicken & mushroom risotto topped with ham which was ok but nowhere near as good as the starter. After this we went to book a trip to the Blue Lagoon where we would visit on our last day tomorrow.
On the way there we bumped into Tim & Sean who were bizarrely in possession of some pre-packed whalemeat! These guys were possibly the most carniverous people i have ever met & had been trying all sorts of food such as puffin, horse, sheeps heads & whale! We arranged to meet them at Bjarni Fel later as it was Seans birthday & booked our trip to the Blue Lagoon the next day. We carried on our walk after this & found all sorts of bizarre art & sculptures dotted around the town. One piece that stood out was a large metal statue of a man carrying a briefcase who had a large cube in place of where his body and head should have been, crazy!
After a bit mire walking about we returned to the Cabin to have a bit of a rest before the Northern Lights tour later.
Unfortunately due to weather conditions the tour was cancelled so what else were we to do other than go to Bjarni Fel & get pissed up! Time & Sean joined us later along with their Latvian friend Agnes. We had a few beers, cocktails etc & i decided it was time to show off & down 6 Jagermeisters, which only took me 25 seconds! We got kicked out of Bjarni Fel at closing time & went to Tim & Seans apartment for a few late drinks. Their place was great & had a great balcony view of Hallgrimskirkja. We had a couple of drinks & tried some of Seans whalemeat on crispbread with some cheese. The whalemeat was very salty but not too bad. After this me & TK retired to the Cabin to get some much needed rest prior to or final day where we were going to visit Icelands main tourist attraction the Blue Lagoon.
Things i learned today:
1 - If you pay in Euros the Icelanders cant wait to take the money from you.
2 - Coca-Cola is made from Icelandic water & much smoother & nicer than regular Coke.
Day 4 started in a lazy fashion, we had been having late drinking sessions for 3 days so this fact was starting to tell. We had a walk around Rejkyavik centre before stopping at Kaffe Solon for some dinner. This was a really nice place, cool decor & a fairly good menu. I opted for salmon (lax) for starters which was absolutely excellent followed by chicken & mushroom risotto topped with ham which was ok but nowhere near as good as the starter. After this we went to book a trip to the Blue Lagoon where we would visit on our last day tomorrow.
On the way there we bumped into Tim & Sean who were bizarrely in possession of some pre-packed whalemeat! These guys were possibly the most carniverous people i have ever met & had been trying all sorts of food such as puffin, horse, sheeps heads & whale! We arranged to meet them at Bjarni Fel later as it was Seans birthday & booked our trip to the Blue Lagoon the next day. We carried on our walk after this & found all sorts of bizarre art & sculptures dotted around the town. One piece that stood out was a large metal statue of a man carrying a briefcase who had a large cube in place of where his body and head should have been, crazy!
After a bit mire walking about we returned to the Cabin to have a bit of a rest before the Northern Lights tour later.
Unfortunately due to weather conditions the tour was cancelled so what else were we to do other than go to Bjarni Fel & get pissed up! Time & Sean joined us later along with their Latvian friend Agnes. We had a few beers, cocktails etc & i decided it was time to show off & down 6 Jagermeisters, which only took me 25 seconds! We got kicked out of Bjarni Fel at closing time & went to Tim & Seans apartment for a few late drinks. Their place was great & had a great balcony view of Hallgrimskirkja. We had a couple of drinks & tried some of Seans whalemeat on crispbread with some cheese. The whalemeat was very salty but not too bad. After this me & TK retired to the Cabin to get some much needed rest prior to or final day where we were going to visit Icelands main tourist attraction the Blue Lagoon.
Things i learned today:
1 - If you pay in Euros the Icelanders cant wait to take the money from you.
2 - Coca-Cola is made from Icelandic water & much smoother & nicer than regular Coke.
Wednesday 24 March 2010
Operation "Bamboozle" Part 3
Close to the Edge - "Close to the edge down by the river"
I'd arranged an early morning call for 8am so that would give us 1/2 an hour to get ready prior to being picked up for the Golden Circle tour. The hotel reception duly called me at 8 & again at 1 minute past saying our coach driver was here & that he was going to leave without us if we didn't get up now! I rang TK to give him the good news, both of us got ready in 1 minute & managed to get on the coach in time, just. The driver took us into the town & dropped us off at the bus station so we could get a bigger coach! Why didn't the tour company just send the bigger coach in the first place. Due to our power-drinking session yesterday we were incredibly hungover & thirsty, particularly TK who looked like an extra from Dawn of the Dead. I hot-footed it to a shop & bought smoothies & fizzy pop to ease our collective hangovers before getting back on the coach.
We left Rejkyavik & made our way out into the countryside, TK was shattered & spent the journey napping whilst i had enjoyed the snow-capped scenery. As we travelled further from Rejkyavik the number of houses lessened but there were still the odd isolated property in the middle of a large field somewhere. I could handle that sort of life, nice & quiet, no litter & little traffic passing my house. After about 40 minutes we reached our first destination, Thingvellir.
Thingvellir is the site where the Icelandic parliament was started in 930AD, making it the oldest parliament in the world. We got off the coach & it was like we were on top of the world, I could see for miles & all of it covered in snow, rivers, lakes, mountains, trees, you name it was here. All in all a fantastic view. Our guide Sylka pointed out a route we had to take to meet the coach which had left & would be waiting us about a mile away. We began our walk & had to be careful as the floor was covered in ice & we were going downhill. After about 10 minutes of shuffling along using baby steps we made it to the bottom, we had a couple of small bridges to cross & as we did noticed the water under these bridges was clear blue, there were lots of coins in the bottom so presumably this was a massive wishing well. As we made our way onto the coach we saw a couple of 4X4 vehicles that another tour group were using, the tyres on these things were about twice as big as a regular 4X4 & the wing mirrors were the size of portable tv screens, clearly these vehicles would be used to negotiate some rough terrain. The coach left & we began the hour long drive to our next destination, the Golden Waterfall at Gulfoss.
We arrived at Gulfoss & upon leaving the coach could see the magnificent site of the Golden Waterfall. The waterfall is actually 2 falls in one that flow at almost a right angle to each other. The higher fall is about 15 metres high & the lower one much bigger, i believe it falls for nearly 70 metres but due to the way the land lies it's not possible to see exactly how far down it goes. This was the perfect photo opportunity so i took loads, as in Thingvellir this area was covered in snow & the waterfall & surrounding landscape was beautiful. We climbed up some steps to a gift shop & cafeteria where we had some sandwiches & soup made from lamb & vegetables which was very nice indeed. After this rest we went back to the waterfall but this time walked above it & thes view was even better, we were much closer to the cascading spray & ice covered rocks, another perfect photo opportunity. There was a large cliff that edged out above the waterfall & we were able to get to the edge & have a look over it was an excellent experience. Gulfoss is one of the best places i have ever been to and the waterfalls are beautiful, i hope to go back there one day.
Our next stop was the town of Geysir where we saw you've guessed it Geysirs, i can't explain the science behind his but basically the main active Geysir called "Strokkur" spits hot water out of the ground to a height of about 40 feet every 7 or 8 minutes. How can hot water be spewed out of the ground in a such a cold place, it's impossible.
After this we made our way to a church at Skalholt, this was a very quiet place next to a priests school. The church was serene & there was a cracking mosaic of Jesus on the back wall. I am told by Vlad the Impaler there is a sight of interest to archaeologists nearby but then again this probably a load of horseshit.
On our way to the final stop of the day Sylka told us of some bizarre local ways, for example many Icelanders believe in elves or "hidden people" as they are known. It is thought these people live inside rocks & mountains, as we drove along i noticed that there were wooden painted doors that had been attached to large rocks, clearly added by the locals to help aid the hidden people get in & out of their homes. Sylka mentioned that there was a plan to build a new road in the area & that a large rock blocked the proposed route. It was planned to move the rock but locals objected saying that this shouldn't be allowed to happen as the hidden people would have nowhere to live. As a result the road was built around the rock which stayed where it was, apparently he noise of the traffic was so loud the hidden people moved out!
Our last stop of the day was at a hydro-electric power station, a bizarre way to end the tour but if you are interested in that sort of thing it would probably fascinate you. Anyway we arrived back at the Cabin later in the early evening suitably amazed by the fantastic sights & natural beauty we had seen that day.
Later that night we went out into town to Bjarni Fel for, burger & chips & more drinks. Tim & Sean joined us later & told us about their visit to the Blue Lagoon where they had bumped into American crackpot/actress Lindsay Lohan. So after many beers & shots later we said our goodbyes & made our way back to the cabin tired & drunk after a very long day. Northern lights tomorrow!
Things i learned today:
1 - If you kill an arctic fox you can hand it to the government/council & receive a reward of around 7,000 Icelandic Kroner
2 - There are no McDonalds "restaurants" in Iceland, apparently the cost of getting the food/materials to Iceland is too great.
I'd arranged an early morning call for 8am so that would give us 1/2 an hour to get ready prior to being picked up for the Golden Circle tour. The hotel reception duly called me at 8 & again at 1 minute past saying our coach driver was here & that he was going to leave without us if we didn't get up now! I rang TK to give him the good news, both of us got ready in 1 minute & managed to get on the coach in time, just. The driver took us into the town & dropped us off at the bus station so we could get a bigger coach! Why didn't the tour company just send the bigger coach in the first place. Due to our power-drinking session yesterday we were incredibly hungover & thirsty, particularly TK who looked like an extra from Dawn of the Dead. I hot-footed it to a shop & bought smoothies & fizzy pop to ease our collective hangovers before getting back on the coach.
We left Rejkyavik & made our way out into the countryside, TK was shattered & spent the journey napping whilst i had enjoyed the snow-capped scenery. As we travelled further from Rejkyavik the number of houses lessened but there were still the odd isolated property in the middle of a large field somewhere. I could handle that sort of life, nice & quiet, no litter & little traffic passing my house. After about 40 minutes we reached our first destination, Thingvellir.
Thingvellir is the site where the Icelandic parliament was started in 930AD, making it the oldest parliament in the world. We got off the coach & it was like we were on top of the world, I could see for miles & all of it covered in snow, rivers, lakes, mountains, trees, you name it was here. All in all a fantastic view. Our guide Sylka pointed out a route we had to take to meet the coach which had left & would be waiting us about a mile away. We began our walk & had to be careful as the floor was covered in ice & we were going downhill. After about 10 minutes of shuffling along using baby steps we made it to the bottom, we had a couple of small bridges to cross & as we did noticed the water under these bridges was clear blue, there were lots of coins in the bottom so presumably this was a massive wishing well. As we made our way onto the coach we saw a couple of 4X4 vehicles that another tour group were using, the tyres on these things were about twice as big as a regular 4X4 & the wing mirrors were the size of portable tv screens, clearly these vehicles would be used to negotiate some rough terrain. The coach left & we began the hour long drive to our next destination, the Golden Waterfall at Gulfoss.
We arrived at Gulfoss & upon leaving the coach could see the magnificent site of the Golden Waterfall. The waterfall is actually 2 falls in one that flow at almost a right angle to each other. The higher fall is about 15 metres high & the lower one much bigger, i believe it falls for nearly 70 metres but due to the way the land lies it's not possible to see exactly how far down it goes. This was the perfect photo opportunity so i took loads, as in Thingvellir this area was covered in snow & the waterfall & surrounding landscape was beautiful. We climbed up some steps to a gift shop & cafeteria where we had some sandwiches & soup made from lamb & vegetables which was very nice indeed. After this rest we went back to the waterfall but this time walked above it & thes view was even better, we were much closer to the cascading spray & ice covered rocks, another perfect photo opportunity. There was a large cliff that edged out above the waterfall & we were able to get to the edge & have a look over it was an excellent experience. Gulfoss is one of the best places i have ever been to and the waterfalls are beautiful, i hope to go back there one day.
Our next stop was the town of Geysir where we saw you've guessed it Geysirs, i can't explain the science behind his but basically the main active Geysir called "Strokkur" spits hot water out of the ground to a height of about 40 feet every 7 or 8 minutes. How can hot water be spewed out of the ground in a such a cold place, it's impossible.
After this we made our way to a church at Skalholt, this was a very quiet place next to a priests school. The church was serene & there was a cracking mosaic of Jesus on the back wall. I am told by Vlad the Impaler there is a sight of interest to archaeologists nearby but then again this probably a load of horseshit.
On our way to the final stop of the day Sylka told us of some bizarre local ways, for example many Icelanders believe in elves or "hidden people" as they are known. It is thought these people live inside rocks & mountains, as we drove along i noticed that there were wooden painted doors that had been attached to large rocks, clearly added by the locals to help aid the hidden people get in & out of their homes. Sylka mentioned that there was a plan to build a new road in the area & that a large rock blocked the proposed route. It was planned to move the rock but locals objected saying that this shouldn't be allowed to happen as the hidden people would have nowhere to live. As a result the road was built around the rock which stayed where it was, apparently he noise of the traffic was so loud the hidden people moved out!
Our last stop of the day was at a hydro-electric power station, a bizarre way to end the tour but if you are interested in that sort of thing it would probably fascinate you. Anyway we arrived back at the Cabin later in the early evening suitably amazed by the fantastic sights & natural beauty we had seen that day.
Later that night we went out into town to Bjarni Fel for, burger & chips & more drinks. Tim & Sean joined us later & told us about their visit to the Blue Lagoon where they had bumped into American crackpot/actress Lindsay Lohan. So after many beers & shots later we said our goodbyes & made our way back to the cabin tired & drunk after a very long day. Northern lights tomorrow!
Things i learned today:
1 - If you kill an arctic fox you can hand it to the government/council & receive a reward of around 7,000 Icelandic Kroner
2 - There are no McDonalds "restaurants" in Iceland, apparently the cost of getting the food/materials to Iceland is too great.
Tuesday 16 March 2010
Operation "Bamboozle" Part 2
Higher than God - Cold as an icy stream, lighter than everything, i thought that we were higher than God.
I hadn't slept that good in my room, it was tiny & there was no room to walk about, the bed wasn't even a full sized single, this meant that every time i turned over i either banged my elbow on the wall or on a desk on the opposite side of the bed. This also meant that my neighbours in the next room were doing the same & that i could hear banging through the wall from them. When i eventually surfaced i had a shower in a tiny cubicle which i defy even an emaciated "Mr Muscle" to comfortably use. I managed it however, met TK & we went for a Sunday afternoon stroll. I was looking forward to this as we had not had any time to find our bearings last night as Oddny was driving us around & most of this was done in the suburbs of Rejkyavik.
After a quick Subway we undertook the 25 minute walk into Rejkyavik town. As it was Sunday the shops were shut & there weren't that many people around which meant we could have a good trawl through the streets & take some photos. There were a few good statues & street art/sculptures but what really took my eye was the architecture. Each building looked unique, almost as though it had been designed by a different person. We saw in the distance a large church & it looked magnificent, i had seen it in an AA (Automobile Association) guide & remembered you could go to the top of it. After having the church obscured from our view for some time as well as being distracted by other things (or getting lost) we made it to Hallgrimskirkja.
Hallgrimskirkja was built in 1974 & is a magnificent spectacle, as we approached it started to snow again & this made it all the more beautiful. I took loads of photos of it & no matter from which angle or how near or far i was from it it was truly a great sight. I was gutted when my camera ran out of juice so rectified that by going to a nearby convenience store & in my best Icelandic (whilst showing the girl behind the counter my camera) said "Batteries please." Luckily it seemed this girl had dealt with ignorant tourists such as myself on many an occasion & instantly recognised my request.
Now that i was "batteried up" we made our way back to Hallgrimskirkja & went inside. Now, as i've said before on my blogs i am in no way religious but inside this church was a sight to see. The interior was quite plain but serene & quiet, it was almost as though if you added a few elves & men with shields that this could be a set from the Lord of the rings, such was its elegance. I half expected Aragorn to enter at any time & tell me off for taking photos of this magnificent hall. There was an old guy playing the organ & as we ventured inside i turned & saw the pipes, all 5,275 of them. My fantastic organ i thought. Anyway, you could travel to the top of the church tower for 400IKR so we did, we got in the lift & went to floor 8.
We got out of the lift and entered into a viewing area which, in the centre of it had a flight of stairs which would take us even higher. I took a look out of the window and saw the tops of the buildings of Rejkyavik town and all of a sudden i had a bit of turn for the worst. I should point out i am not the best at handling heights, im ok on a plane and usually ok in enclosed high places but for some reason when i looked out of window i thought the whole building was going to crumble into pieces & i would be a bloody mosaic on the streets of Rejkyavik, silly really. I said to TK i couldn't make the stairs to the top & was rooted to the spot. Anyway i had a word with myself & managed the stairs to the top & when up there i was ok. The view was impressive & we were about 73 metres high. After a minute or two the church bell struck 3 & i nearly jumped out of my skin, good job it didn't strike when i was halfway up the stairs i would have turned back there & then. It was time to descend after this high anxiety so we did & then went to find a bar in the town.
We settled on a sportsbar called Bjarni Fel which would become our "base camp" for the rest of the trip. We had a few beers/pitchers sat at the bar & as the day went on got increasingly drunk. It was here where we met Tim & Sean from San Diego who would become our drinking buddies from now on. These lads were good company & had been skiing in Switzerland before spending a night in London then flying to Iceland. It wasn't long before we were lining up the shots, all manner of drinks were consumed, Stroh, Jagermeister & something called Seamans shot! The drinks flowed then Oddny & Kristin arrived as we had a table booked at a tapas bar, another quick drink & we said goodbye to Tim & Sean & were on our way.
The tapas bar was nice inside & we all had "Lobster fiesta" & drank 3 bottles of red wine, by this time i was getting rather drunk. Kristin & Oddny then treated me, TK & the whole restaurant to the sounds of their opera singing, opera is not my thing but they have tremendous voices & the other patrons were impressed. We were the last to leave the restaurant & then went to bar "Zimsen" for a couple of late drinks before taking our leave back to the "Cabin". After a couple of beers in the hotel bar it was bed time, so at 3am i went to sleep. We needed to be up at 8am to go on the "Golden Circle" tour which i hoped to be a highlight of our trip. It did not disappoint but ill tell you about it in part 3.
Things i learned today:
1 - The icelandic for batteries is batteries.
2 - Drinking pitchers of lager, followed by cocktails, shorts, red wine then more lager gets you very drunk indeed.
I hadn't slept that good in my room, it was tiny & there was no room to walk about, the bed wasn't even a full sized single, this meant that every time i turned over i either banged my elbow on the wall or on a desk on the opposite side of the bed. This also meant that my neighbours in the next room were doing the same & that i could hear banging through the wall from them. When i eventually surfaced i had a shower in a tiny cubicle which i defy even an emaciated "Mr Muscle" to comfortably use. I managed it however, met TK & we went for a Sunday afternoon stroll. I was looking forward to this as we had not had any time to find our bearings last night as Oddny was driving us around & most of this was done in the suburbs of Rejkyavik.
After a quick Subway we undertook the 25 minute walk into Rejkyavik town. As it was Sunday the shops were shut & there weren't that many people around which meant we could have a good trawl through the streets & take some photos. There were a few good statues & street art/sculptures but what really took my eye was the architecture. Each building looked unique, almost as though it had been designed by a different person. We saw in the distance a large church & it looked magnificent, i had seen it in an AA (Automobile Association) guide & remembered you could go to the top of it. After having the church obscured from our view for some time as well as being distracted by other things (or getting lost) we made it to Hallgrimskirkja.
Hallgrimskirkja was built in 1974 & is a magnificent spectacle, as we approached it started to snow again & this made it all the more beautiful. I took loads of photos of it & no matter from which angle or how near or far i was from it it was truly a great sight. I was gutted when my camera ran out of juice so rectified that by going to a nearby convenience store & in my best Icelandic (whilst showing the girl behind the counter my camera) said "Batteries please." Luckily it seemed this girl had dealt with ignorant tourists such as myself on many an occasion & instantly recognised my request.
Now that i was "batteried up" we made our way back to Hallgrimskirkja & went inside. Now, as i've said before on my blogs i am in no way religious but inside this church was a sight to see. The interior was quite plain but serene & quiet, it was almost as though if you added a few elves & men with shields that this could be a set from the Lord of the rings, such was its elegance. I half expected Aragorn to enter at any time & tell me off for taking photos of this magnificent hall. There was an old guy playing the organ & as we ventured inside i turned & saw the pipes, all 5,275 of them. My fantastic organ i thought. Anyway, you could travel to the top of the church tower for 400IKR so we did, we got in the lift & went to floor 8.
We got out of the lift and entered into a viewing area which, in the centre of it had a flight of stairs which would take us even higher. I took a look out of the window and saw the tops of the buildings of Rejkyavik town and all of a sudden i had a bit of turn for the worst. I should point out i am not the best at handling heights, im ok on a plane and usually ok in enclosed high places but for some reason when i looked out of window i thought the whole building was going to crumble into pieces & i would be a bloody mosaic on the streets of Rejkyavik, silly really. I said to TK i couldn't make the stairs to the top & was rooted to the spot. Anyway i had a word with myself & managed the stairs to the top & when up there i was ok. The view was impressive & we were about 73 metres high. After a minute or two the church bell struck 3 & i nearly jumped out of my skin, good job it didn't strike when i was halfway up the stairs i would have turned back there & then. It was time to descend after this high anxiety so we did & then went to find a bar in the town.
We settled on a sportsbar called Bjarni Fel which would become our "base camp" for the rest of the trip. We had a few beers/pitchers sat at the bar & as the day went on got increasingly drunk. It was here where we met Tim & Sean from San Diego who would become our drinking buddies from now on. These lads were good company & had been skiing in Switzerland before spending a night in London then flying to Iceland. It wasn't long before we were lining up the shots, all manner of drinks were consumed, Stroh, Jagermeister & something called Seamans shot! The drinks flowed then Oddny & Kristin arrived as we had a table booked at a tapas bar, another quick drink & we said goodbye to Tim & Sean & were on our way.
The tapas bar was nice inside & we all had "Lobster fiesta" & drank 3 bottles of red wine, by this time i was getting rather drunk. Kristin & Oddny then treated me, TK & the whole restaurant to the sounds of their opera singing, opera is not my thing but they have tremendous voices & the other patrons were impressed. We were the last to leave the restaurant & then went to bar "Zimsen" for a couple of late drinks before taking our leave back to the "Cabin". After a couple of beers in the hotel bar it was bed time, so at 3am i went to sleep. We needed to be up at 8am to go on the "Golden Circle" tour which i hoped to be a highlight of our trip. It did not disappoint but ill tell you about it in part 3.
Things i learned today:
1 - The icelandic for batteries is batteries.
2 - Drinking pitchers of lager, followed by cocktails, shorts, red wine then more lager gets you very drunk indeed.
Friday 12 March 2010
Operation "Bamboozle" Part 1
The immigrant song - We come from the land of the ice and snow from the midnight sun to the hot springs blow.
I wanted to visit Iceland about 6 years ago but circumstances & other stuff prohibited at the time. I decided to make the trip this year & asked my good mate TK if he like to come, "yes" he said so we booked it, simple. TK had a couple of friends of there so we would be able to meet them & also we booked a couple of trips online beforehand.
TK arrived at mine at 7.30am on saturday 6th March & had actually forgotten his coat! Might be needing that mate so we went back to his, picked it up & set off to Heathrow airport. We arrived there, checked in, had a quick sandwich & pint of lager before boarding our Icelandair flight & setting off. The flight lasted about 3 hours, i watched "Max Payne" a film adaptation of a video game starring Mark Wahlberg. The film looked great but the plot was as thin as chrome plating on a window, i give it 6 on 10. Anyway i digress, we landed at Keflavik airport & got a transferring coach to Rejkyavik, where it was beginning to snow heavily.
I should point out that TK is a well travelled chap, he's been all over the world, Mexico, USA, Borneo, Sweden, Thailand, Milton Keynes to name but a few. I therefore decided that i would get off the plane & enter onto Icelandic soil before him. For the first time in my life i had been somewhere TK hadn't been, even if it was for only 3 seconds until he crossed the Icelandic threshold himself! Still, that is my claim to fame & i never let him forget it whole the whole trip!
We tipped up at "Hotel Cabin" and checked in, we had a room each & upon entering mine was amazed at how small it was, the shower was also tiny & i'd have had a better chance of cleaning my ample frame in a telephone box. I went downstairs & TK was in the bar our icelandic friend Oddny, we had a couple of lagers then Oddny drove us to her house picking up her friend Jenny on the way. Oddny's driving was terrible & i have never been so scared in a car before, the snow didnt help & we were all crammed into a tiny Daewoo, possibly not ideal conditions for safe driving. Anyway, by a large miracle (or a series of smaller ones) we reached our destination.
Oddny's house was very nice with a kitchen that was bigger than my living room & kitchen combined. She cooked us a great meal comprising of lobster, pasta, mushrooms, icelandic haggis, dried fish, lamb terrine & much more besides, it was a massive spread and there was enough to feed about 10 people! We combined this with wine & various shots/shorts of the like i have never heard of before, let alone tasted. I stood outside Oddnys house & noticed how incredibly quiet it was, i could see car highlights some distance away but couldn't hear them it was pretty much silent, excellent, i could live in a place like this.
After this Oddny drove us (still badly) to a bar for a few more drinks before taking us to her friend Kristins flat where we drank more wine & shorts. Following this me & TK got a taxi back to the "Cabin" where we had a couple of beers & met an Icelandic couple at the bar, Rakel & John aka "Ivan the Terrible". I was amazed to learn that Rakel had heard of my mate "Vlad the Impalers" ninja metal band called "Sudoku", small world. We finally made it to bed at about 5 am.
Things i learned today:
- The Icelandic for "Exit" is "Utgangur"
- Taxis in Iceland are extremely expensive.
Oh, before i finish this part of the blog i should raise some awareness about Vlad. He was working as a trowel monkey in Iceland last year & will no doubt have much to say about my blogs. I suspect he may even try to dispute some of the facts i write & which will follow shortly. DO NOT pay him any heed whatsoever, he has a physical human form but is actually an alien lizard wearing fake skin who eats live rodents whole & is actually on earth so that he & his cohorts can steal our entire water supply.
I wanted to visit Iceland about 6 years ago but circumstances & other stuff prohibited at the time. I decided to make the trip this year & asked my good mate TK if he like to come, "yes" he said so we booked it, simple. TK had a couple of friends of there so we would be able to meet them & also we booked a couple of trips online beforehand.
TK arrived at mine at 7.30am on saturday 6th March & had actually forgotten his coat! Might be needing that mate so we went back to his, picked it up & set off to Heathrow airport. We arrived there, checked in, had a quick sandwich & pint of lager before boarding our Icelandair flight & setting off. The flight lasted about 3 hours, i watched "Max Payne" a film adaptation of a video game starring Mark Wahlberg. The film looked great but the plot was as thin as chrome plating on a window, i give it 6 on 10. Anyway i digress, we landed at Keflavik airport & got a transferring coach to Rejkyavik, where it was beginning to snow heavily.
I should point out that TK is a well travelled chap, he's been all over the world, Mexico, USA, Borneo, Sweden, Thailand, Milton Keynes to name but a few. I therefore decided that i would get off the plane & enter onto Icelandic soil before him. For the first time in my life i had been somewhere TK hadn't been, even if it was for only 3 seconds until he crossed the Icelandic threshold himself! Still, that is my claim to fame & i never let him forget it whole the whole trip!
We tipped up at "Hotel Cabin" and checked in, we had a room each & upon entering mine was amazed at how small it was, the shower was also tiny & i'd have had a better chance of cleaning my ample frame in a telephone box. I went downstairs & TK was in the bar our icelandic friend Oddny, we had a couple of lagers then Oddny drove us to her house picking up her friend Jenny on the way. Oddny's driving was terrible & i have never been so scared in a car before, the snow didnt help & we were all crammed into a tiny Daewoo, possibly not ideal conditions for safe driving. Anyway, by a large miracle (or a series of smaller ones) we reached our destination.
Oddny's house was very nice with a kitchen that was bigger than my living room & kitchen combined. She cooked us a great meal comprising of lobster, pasta, mushrooms, icelandic haggis, dried fish, lamb terrine & much more besides, it was a massive spread and there was enough to feed about 10 people! We combined this with wine & various shots/shorts of the like i have never heard of before, let alone tasted. I stood outside Oddnys house & noticed how incredibly quiet it was, i could see car highlights some distance away but couldn't hear them it was pretty much silent, excellent, i could live in a place like this.
After this Oddny drove us (still badly) to a bar for a few more drinks before taking us to her friend Kristins flat where we drank more wine & shorts. Following this me & TK got a taxi back to the "Cabin" where we had a couple of beers & met an Icelandic couple at the bar, Rakel & John aka "Ivan the Terrible". I was amazed to learn that Rakel had heard of my mate "Vlad the Impalers" ninja metal band called "Sudoku", small world. We finally made it to bed at about 5 am.
Things i learned today:
- The Icelandic for "Exit" is "Utgangur"
- Taxis in Iceland are extremely expensive.
Oh, before i finish this part of the blog i should raise some awareness about Vlad. He was working as a trowel monkey in Iceland last year & will no doubt have much to say about my blogs. I suspect he may even try to dispute some of the facts i write & which will follow shortly. DO NOT pay him any heed whatsoever, he has a physical human form but is actually an alien lizard wearing fake skin who eats live rodents whole & is actually on earth so that he & his cohorts can steal our entire water supply.
Monday 1 March 2010
New post especially for Alex
Alex, if you are reading this you are an idiot of the highest order.
xxx
xxx
Wednesday 24 February 2010
Pre-Iceland babble
Had a good day today, got up about 3pm and then went to B&Q with our Chris to get some stuff for my new bathroom which he will be fitting for me when i go to Iceland. Chris is self employed and has a trade card so that means we get free coffee, mint!
Top tip - next time you go to B&Q wear dirty jeans that show your bum crack and carry a bag of cement around, you'll get free coffee.*
Anyway i digress, we got the bathroom stuff and Chris dropped me off at home, after a quick viewing of The Simpsons i was on my way to see TK and Royst so that me and TK could book some excursions for our upcoming Iceland extravaganza!
On arrival i received the usual warm welcome and the sounds of "The Mac" on TK's pc. TK was in the process of cooking us a lasagne which looked and smelled proper 'bo. TK also got some NY cheese for us to taste, it was cheddar with jalopenos in, although it was so hot it actually tasted like jalopenos with cheddar in, nice though. The lasagne was proper nice and with a bit of garlic bread and a cup of tea the job was a good 'un. Me and TK had ours at the table while Royst had his in the living room as he couldn't begin to prise his arse off the sofa because he was getting all giddy about a football match which included 2 teams he does not support!!! He even did a one-man mexican wave during the first half whilst going ooh, ahh referee, etc...
We booked a trip to the Golden Circle and Northern Lights, only £75 each for them both, nice, hopefully we'll see the Northern Lights but nothing is guaranteed. Another cup of tea later and i nipped to the supermarket for some wine and cookies which brings us up to date, cheers, hic!
Roll on Iceland.
*This practice, to my knowledge, is not encouraged or endorsed by B&Q.
Monday 8 February 2010
The day i met Ken Barlow
Some time ago, about 13 years i went on a works trip to Granada Studios at Manchester, the home of Coronation Street, arguably the UK's best loved soap opera.
I had foxed him, he was never expecting that and for a moment i felt that he recognised he had met his match but appreciated my cheekiness all the same.
We went on a backstage tour and the guide began showing us round, almost as soon as the tour had begun another guide entered our room and said we had move on quickly as we had special guest to come and meet us. We moved on to another room in anticipation, who would it be, surely a Corrie star?
The next room was a mock up of a newsroom complete with newsdesk etc, when we were all inside the moment of truth was upon us. Out from behind a screen popped William Roache aka Ken Barlow, the only Corrie star to still be in the show since its inception in the 1960's. Ken gave a quick wave and stood there resplendent in a smart shiny suit, he explained he was on his lunch hour and could only spare a few moments with us before going back to filming. Ken went on to say he was in the middle of filming Deidres court scenes and could answer a couple of questions before leaving, very nice of you Ken i thought, then my hand shot up above the crowd. Ken looked at me and the conversation went like this:
Me - "Ken, er can i call you Ken. You're are the only person to be ever present in the show since the start."
Ken nodded
Me - "You've had lots of wives, girlfriends, affairs and flings over the years."
Ken nodded again
Me - "Do you get much in real life?"
Ken seemed slightly embarrassed and looked at me in such a way that he knew i was being a bit cheeky, wagged his finger at me and said. "Well i used to be a bit of a lad in the '60's but i'm settled down now." He gave me a knowing albeit sheepish glance and said "Very good question."
I had foxed him, he was never expecting that and for a moment i felt that he recognised he had met his match but appreciated my cheekiness all the same.
Ken then said anyone else, one more question. My mate Andy said "Whats in store for you and Deidre." Ken looked relieved and said "You'll have to keep watching, i cant reveal too much."
Andy, what a waste of a question he must get asked this about a million times a day, i had Ken on the ropes and you rang the bell for the end of the round. Ken then left and we had a great day.
Monday 25 January 2010
Football crazy
Here is a football quiz.
1 - You are a middle aged man with a spare saturday afternoon, how do you spend it?
a) Take the wife and kids out somewhere nice and enjoy a good family day out.
b) Laze around like a fat knacker and do nothing.
c) Do the housework and maybe mow the lawn.
d) Get half drunk, go to a football match and sit in the cold chanting at other sad middle aged men about how much better your team is than theirs?
2 - You are a footballer and you score a goal, how do you celebrate?
a) Run to your team mates and get a firm handshake and maybe a high 5.
b) Make your way back to your own half ready to restart the game.
c) Run to your own fans and enjoy the cheers and adulation.
d) Pull your shirt over your heard, punch the corner flag, make your way to the oppositions fans to make aggressive gestures whilst shouting "come on, come on" before running round the pitch for 5 minutes like a small child.
3 - You support a top flight football team and arent happy with the way its being run, what do you do?
a) Nothing, after all you are just a fan and dont own the club or hold a stake in it.
b) Go home and ring a local radio station complaining about the state of affairs.
c) Have a moan in the pub with your mates for an hour after the game then let it go.
d) Stand outside the ground in the cold shouting "sack the board, sack the board" long after they have gone home and all along you are still stood there like the idiot you are.
4 - You are a footballer, during a game an opposing player tackles you making contact with your right leg and you fall to the ground uninjured, do you?
a) Get up and get on with it, what goes around comes around.
b) Get up and run to the referee appealing for a free kick.
c) Dont get up but sit there sulking for 5 minutes or until the ball comes your way, whichever happens sooner.
d) Roll around on the floor for 5 minutes clutching your left ankle shouting and screaming like you have just been snipered before declining a stretcher and finally resuming the game when you feel you've made your point.
5 - You are a footballer and your contract is due to expire at the end of the season what do you do?
a) You love the club you are at and the fans, money is not an object so sign immediately.
b) Have a word with your agent to see if he can get you an extra few quid.
c) Sign for another team who may be interested in you.
d) Stall on signing the contract as long as possible until you effectively hold the club to ransom for your excessive and greedy wage demands before eventually signing and holding a press conference explaining how much you love the club and the fans and that you never had any intention of not renewing your contract in the first place.
6 - You are a footballer and the referee has just given a free kick against your team, do you?
a) Get on with the game, after all the referee will not change his mind.
b) Curse under your breath for a moment then let it go.
c) Stand near to the ball so that the free kick cant be taken and thus give your team mates time to get organised before play begins.
d) Chase the referee to the corner flag with at least 3 of your team mates so that you can vent your frustration and fling your arms around like an idiot then cry like a baby when you get booked for it.
7 - You have just invested a considerable amount of money and taken over a club that is doing well and shows promise, if things go right you might have a good cup run or even challenge for a place in europe, what do you do?
a) Leave it as it is, things are going well and you dont want to spoil anything.
b) Inject a large sum of money into the club and leave it to the manager.
c) Have a word with the manager and players and offer them incentives for their future endeavours.
d) Sack the manager, put in place your mate who might make things better but ultimately will fail at the first hurdle and put the development of your club back many years, then leave to take charge of another club who will welcome you with open arms?
8 - You are a football fan and are having a drink in a pub before the game, some rival fans come in, what do you do?
a) Nothing, its inevitable you will share a pub prior to the commencement of the game.
b) Mutter under your breath about how they shouldn't be allowed in but leave it there, theres no sense in causing trouble.
c) Have some light hearted banter with them then wish them luck.
d) Smash some glasses, puff your chest out in bravado before shouting "who are you, who are you" then punch one of them in the face because he's wearing a different coloured shirt to you.
9 - You are a football fan and your team has played poorly losing by 2 goals at home, what do you do?
a) Go home and forget about it, theres always next week.
b) Go for a pint with your pals and debrief what went wrong for about 2 hours then unanimously declare that "We need a new striker."
c) Ring a local radio station to complain about how bad your team has played then admit that you haven't actually been to the game because you were working.
d) Go on an idiotic, drunken, hate fuelled rampage, make your way home, blame your partner for the loss and refuse to talk to anyone for 2 days.
10 - You are a football manager and as per Q9 your team has played poorly and lost by 2 goals at home, how do you explain this to the media?
a) We didn't compete and the best team won.
b) Their second goal killed the game and there was no way back.
c) We need some more money to compete at this level and were in for a relegation dogfight.
d) If the linesman hadn't given them a throw-in in the 3rd minute things would have been different. That decision turned the game and whilst i don't want to make comments about the officials i thought they were poor and have no business being involved in the officiating of professional sport.
11 - You are a football pundit and see a terrible tackle in the centre circle whereby the defending player slides in recklessly at the attacking player (3 seconds after he has released the ball) and ends up breaking his leg in 2 places. How do you describe this?
a) That's horrific, he should be sent off immediately.
b) I'd like to see that again from another camera angle.
c) That's harsh he went for the ball.
d) Well i know he's been a bit overzealous by crashing in from distance with his studs showing and possibly ending that players career but ohhh, what a talent he is. I have to defend him, after all he's passionate about the game.
This is the end of the quiz, there are no winners but there are lots of losers.
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